I loved being pregnant. I loved the way my body felt, I loved practicing yoga pregnant, I loved watching my belly move and feeling the little one twist and turn. The last few weeks felt bittersweet. I wanted to meet her, but I also knew I would miss the feeling of being pregnant.
I’d been having Braxton Hicks contractions for several weeks, but on Monday afternoon, two days before my due date, the contractions started feeling a bit different. They didn’t hurt, but they were moving differently, and fairly consistent. I spent time with my friend, Kristen, and her one month old, and mentioned them several times. I went home that evening, and took a long bath, figuring it would stop the contractions. It did, but I woke up at 3:00 with real contractions. I hung out in bed and felt them for a bit, and got up to go to the bathroom at about 5, and saw some bloody show. Adam stirred, and I told him that we were having a baby that day. Adam went to a morning meeting, and then came home and hung out all day. My contractions were 15-20 minutes apart all day, and we just hung out, walked, and watched movies. I left my midwife a head’s up message, and called my good friend and doula, Katy, who decided to just come over and spend the night, in case things progressed. I tried to sleep, and woke up again about 3:00 with contractions. I came down and joined night-owl Katy, watching Ted talks and chatting. My contractions were about 7-10 minutes apart, and I had to breathe through them now, but they were very manageable. Katy eventually went to bed, and I stayed up, watching some tv, sitting in silence, and walking around the house. It was the 4th of July (my due date), and we spent the whole day inside, watching movies, breathing through more contractions (which were steady at about 5 minutes apart), eating, and relaxing. It was also over 100 degrees outside. My contractions were constant, but I didn’t feel like anything was happening. Early that evening, I talked to Kathy, my midwife, who told me to immediately take 3 benedryl and go to sleep. I did that, slept for 4 hours, woke up for a few hours, drank some wine, and woke up again at about 3:00 with contractions. At some point, Katy went home. I woke Adam up at 5 or so and told him that I couldn’t take another few days of this.
Adam decided that Thursday was going to be different. We were going to do kitchen projects and walk all day, despite the very, very hot weather. My contractions were still 5-10 minutes apart, and not consistent. I had to stop during walks, and breath through all of the contractions. At some point, I got an email from Adam’s cousin, Lisa, saying that I’m either in labor, waiting to go into labor, or holding a baby, and that they’re thinking about us. Lisa had just told me about her very long prodromal labor (that she had with all of her kids) on the phone earlier in the week, and I emailed her back saying that I was dealing with the same thing. Her husband called Adam, and said that what worked for her was letting go, spicy eggplant, and a hot bath. Adam had grilled some eggplant the day before for a grilled vegetable lasagna that I had been slowly eating, and had some leftover. I ate a few slices covered in sriracha, and lit candles and drew a hot bath. I sat in there, saying mantras out-loud, talking to the baby, and trying to release. About 20 minutes after I stepped out of the bath, my contractions intensified, and, for the first time, I felt like something was happening. I bounced on the birth ball and, with every contraction, felt like my bladder was leaking a little. My next door neighbor, who was pregnant with her 6th, knocked on the door to check on us, and I told her that I thought I was peeing a little. I stood up a minute later, and I caught a gush of water in my hand. I guess it wasn’t my bladder… That was about 8:00 or so.
I called Kathy, my midwife, to give her a head’s up. I had been talking to her each day. She said that she was worried that the baby was stuck. I labored for a bit downstairs while Adam worked on a kitchen project, but my contractions quickly intensified, and we started filling up the birth pool. About an hour later, Adam called Kathy to tell her that my contractions were 3 minutes apart, since she was an hour away. We also called my doula to tell her to get herself together. They all showed up at about midnight- Katy, Kathy, and Kathy’s assistant Alison. A short while after they got here, Kathy was called to another birth- second time mom, 15 minutes away, and ready to push. Alison stayed with me, and Kathy left for a bit. The next few hours, I spent laboring in the pool, dancing with my doula, occasionally laboring in the bathroom (although I hated that), and eating spoonfuls of honey and red raspberry leaf ice chips (thanks to my doula). I sent Adam to sleep eventually, and he took a nap in the baby’s room (which was, and still is, my yoga room). The birth pool was amazing, and really let me rest (or pass out) between contractions. I spent months reading hundreds of birth stories, and I kept going back to them in my head- moaning low through contractions, doing a Lamaze-type breathing, and finding the rhythm and flow of the contractions. I remember the contractions getting more intense, and starting to count through them. First to 30, then to 40, then to 50, as they continued to progress. If I counted to the peak, the rest just slid back. I remember thinking very clearly at one point that I couldn’t do this for many more hours. About 5 minutes later, I had the most intense urge to go to the bathroom. It felt like a giant bowling ball fell down into my rectum.
At that point, I jumped up, and I remember Katy grabbing me, and helping me out of the pool. I sat down on the toilet, and put my finger into my vagina. There was a head about a knuckle in. And, at the same time, I realized that my contractions felt very different. I stepped out of the bathroom and told Alison that I felt a head. Kathy wasn’t there yet (I learned later that she was called to another birth that night. She takes very few clients a month, and this does not happen, but it was a full moon). Alison asked if I wanted to be checked. I hadn’t been checked once during my pregnancy or labor, and I told her that I did, but I didn’t feel that I was fully dilated. I didn’t think I had gone into transition. Adam and I talked so much about vomiting and losing control (one of the reasons he was so pro-birth pool). Alison checked me, and I was fully dilated with no cervical lip. Kathy was on her way, and had also sent a back-up midwife (who had delivered all of Kathy’s children 30+ years ago!). Katy got Adam, and Alison told me that I could breath the baby down a bit more, and, if I needed to push, to go ahead and push. Adam and I got into the pool together, and I panted through, what Katy told me later, was about 45 minutes of pushing contractions (something else I had read in birth stories). I held my hand to my perineum through each contraction, and, finally, couldn’t hold her in anymore. I felt the head crowning, and I needed to push. Alison held the monitor up to my belly during the next contraction, but the heartbeat was dropping. I changed position, and it happened again. Because the pool was so high, I really had to be in some squatting position to feel comfortable, and the baby was not having it. Alison asked me to get out, and try laying on my left side. That lasted about 10 seconds, but was so intense that I got onto my hands and knees. At that point, Alison really wanted to get the baby out, and with the first contraction, I pushed until I felt a burn, and asked Katy to put Rescue Remedy on my perineum. The next contraction, her head came out, with the cord wrapped around her neck twice (which is, most likely, why I couldn’t push her out squatting). Adam had intended to catch her, but Alison took the cord off of her neck, and I pushed out the body with the next contraction. Katy later told us that it was 6:36 AM. The rest is kind of a blur. I know they helped me turn over, and put the baby on me. The cord only pulsed for a few minutes, and Adam cut it. At some point during this, the backup midwife came in, and helped deliver my placenta, which Alison and Katy later encapsulated for me (and dehydrated the cord-so beautiful!). Kathy came in, and they helped the baby latch on, and all of them went downstairs to leave me, Adam, and the baby. We decided then to name her Sela Bernice (סֶלָה and Bernice for Adam’s mother).